Sharing a Common Vision

Hi there!  I’m so excited about today’s blog because it has something for everybody.  It’s a great exercise for families but it can also be done at any life stage whether you’re a single, a newlywed, a small family, a large family, or even empty nesters.

This is the second in our series on parenting fundamentals.  Last time we talked about the worthwhile work of motherhood and how important it is to identify what it is that fuels us to invest so much into our children.  Today I want to talk about the next stone in our foundation - sharing a common goal. 

To do this I want to walk you through the process of creating a vision/mission statement for your family.  Just as a business creates a mission statement to encompass the values of their business you’ll be creating your own mission statement to encompass your own values.  In addition we’ll add the twist of putting some vision for the future into it as well.

Step One: Identify Your Values

First sit down either individually, as a couple, or as a family if your children are older, and list your top five values.  Values are the things in life that are most important to you.  It could be faith, friends, health, security.  It could even be money, fun, etc.  Everyone values different things so it’s okay if your lists show a little variation.  Then share your lists with each other.  Discuss as a family where your lists line up and, together, make a list of your top five shared values. 

Step Two: Write Your Vision/Mission Statement

Using your family’s top five list of values create a vision/mission statement for your family.  Write it as though it is already in place even if you haven’t achieved it yet.  That’s where the vision part comes in.  For example, if one of your top five values was financial security but you’re currently deep in debt write something like “Our family is debt-free and is secure in our finances.  We live below our means but above our needs and are able to give generously to those in need”.    Work your values into your vision/mission statement, writing and re-writing until everyone at the table is happy with what you’ve come up with.  Remember this is a fluid document, meaning it is going to change with time and circumstance.  You’ll likely find that you’ll change your vision/mission statement as you change life stages.  Write your vision/mission statement on a piece of paper and post it where everyone in the family can see it.  In our house it’s posted in our “command centre”.  In other words, next to the calendar!  That way we are constantly reminded not only of who we are as a family but also where we’re going.  To give you an example let’s say your family’s top five shared values were respect, health, financial security, creativity, and community.  Your vision/mission statement might read something like, “Our family is respectful of others and respected by others.  Individually we are always considerate of each other’s needs.  We take care of our bodies through a good diet and plenty of exercise.  We are active and energetic.  Our family is debt-free and secure in our finances.  We live below our means but above our needs and are able to give generously to those in need.  We think outside the box and encourage each other to try new things.  We create art in many different mediums.  Our family is active in our community.  We volunteer and support local causes”.

Step Three: Create a Family Charter

Now you can use your list of values and your vision/mission statement to create a family charter.  Your family charter is basically just a list of rules to live by in your household.  Some of what’s on that list will be broad rules used to develop character.  The top two “rules” on our family charter are “everyone deserves respect” and “pets are people too”.  As your children get older you can add things like, “no toys at the table”.  Again, this is a living document that will continuously change as your circumstances do.

Step Four: Formulate Some Goals

The final step is to formulate some goals to make the vision part of that vision/mission statement become a reality.  A simple way to begin is by writing statements of need identified by the vision/mission statement.  What part of your vision/mission statement are you not currently achieving?  List these as statements of need.  For example, “We need to become financially secure”.  Then from there you can start formulating goals.  Remember when you write goals they should be SMART.  Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Result-Oriented, and Time-Specific.  For the statement of need above you might write a goal like, “Our family will be debt free in five years”.  Another goal might be about being creative such as, “Each member of our family will enroll in an art class in September”.  Once you’ve written the goal add a list of tasks that are required to achieve that goal and assign a person responsible for that task.  Again, using our financial example, tasks might include, create a budget, speak to a financial counsellor, snowball debt payoff, etc.  These goals should help you to make your vision/mission statement a reality for your family.

My family completed this exercise just after the birth of our eldest son, five years ago.  It was a great experience for us.  We encourage you to do the same.  For my husband and I we were able to finally determine the direction we wanted to go and started to have a much easier time moving in that direction together.  I believe that having a shared vision has increased our ability to work independently of each other without jeopardizing our future goals.  We have an easier time staying on the same page so to speak because we have so clearly discussed and outlined what that page is and we review where we are in the process.  I strongly encourage you to take the time to do this process regardless of your circumstance.  This is a great exercise for single people and couples without children too.  It’s a really great exercise to have your children who are about to leave home do for themselves.  Once you’ve done it for your family plan to review it from time to time.  You could review it annually, or every time you change life stages (adding a child, getting married, a child moves out, etc).  Having a shared vision for your family is an excellent way to unify yourselves and give your children a feeling of ownership over your home and family.

This week’s assignment: Schedule some time to go through this exercise with your family and, if you’re comfortable, share all or part of your family’s vision/mission statement with us here.