Parenting Fundamentals: Worthwhile Work

In order for any pursuit to be successful it has to have a purpose.  Purpose, in turn, comes from the knowledge that the pursuit is worthwhile.  In this, the first of a series of articles called Parenting Fundamentals, we’ll be discussing the very foundation of parenting and the first stone we’ll lay is labelled “worthwhile work”.

I’m not talking about taking pleasure in parenting or enjoying your children’s company.  Hopefully that’s a given for you.  I’m talking about exploring the reason why you became a parent in the first place.  What did you hope to achieve as a parent?  I’m talking about what you tell yourself when you’re having one of those days that you’re at your absolute wit’s end, exhausted, frustrated, ready to put the kids on a corner with a sign, “Free to a good home”.  The deep inner knowledge of a greater sense of purpose that gets you to wipe the tears from your eyes, take a deep breath, retire the sign to a corner in the basement, smile at the kids and try again.

This is one area where, I believe, both science and religion give us the same answer.  Science tells us that we become parents in order to guarantee our biological legacy.  Religion tells us that we become parents in order to pass on our spiritual legacy.  Where did we match up?  Legacy.  Regardless of whether they carry on the family name, family business, or family traits, our children weave little pieces of ourselves into themselves.  Everything we say, do, and expose our children to helps to create the person they will become.  My husband’s grandfather says that we pour our own wisdom and experience into the next generation so that they can start further ahead than we did.  In effect, each passing generation has the potential to achieve, influence, and create more and have more of a positive impact on their environment than the one before it.

I want to be really clear.  When I say legacy I’m not talking about money.  I’m talking about character and values.  Did you ever notice that the words discipline and disciple have the same root?  It means to learn.  In essence, our role as parents is to provide our children with the lessons, teaching, and support that they need to strike out on their own, take the legacy that you’ve given them, build on it to create one of their own, and, perhaps, pour their legacy into their own children someday.

This is how the “work” of being a parent becomes worthwhile.  Sure the little things make it worthwhile too: that special smile they have just for your, inside jokes with them, hugs and kisses.  Those are also our “compensation”, which we’ll talk about later in the series.  It’s the big picture that makes work worthwhile.  It’s raising sons that you know will be incredible partners and fathers, daughters that know their true value.  Watching your children’s personalities emerge, quirks and all, and getting a vision for what incredible people they’re becoming.

My top five reasons why I know that, as a mother, I am doing worthwhile work are:
    1.  Even as pre-schoolers I can see that my sons have tremendous character.
    2. I am an encouragement to my husband in both his professional life and as a father
    3. My own experience as a mother allows me to be a support to other mothers
    4. Although I may sometimes catch my children emulating my negative traits, I have often seen them emulate my strengths as well
    5. At the end of the day, regardless of how difficult a day we may have had, I still look forward to tomorrow

Your assignment over the next few days is to give yourself the gift of purpose.  Think about what makes being a parent worthwhile work.  Make your top five list.  Write it down.  Add to it when you think of things.  If you’re comfortable share your list with us.  We’d love to hear from you.

Happy Parenting!
Northern Mom